Room 6101

It is the last room at the end of a very long corridor on the last floor of one of the two hospital towers at Athens Regional Medical Center.  It took forever for me to get there from the parking garage and I was greeted by a list of instructions for entering.  "ALL VISITORS ARE REQUIRED TO PUT ON GOWN AND GLOVES BEFORE ENTERING.  REMOVE GOWN AND GLOVES PRIOR TO EXITING ROOM."  The gowns were this bright yellow paper-like substance and the gloves were the typical latex type, blue in color.  I wondered what Robert would think of such a thing as I went ahead and "suited up". 

My heart broke in two as I quietly walked in.  He was laying there asleep and his little ball cap was on his chest.  It's probably as old as he is, all dirty and crumpled.  He always had it on when I went to his little trailer to deliver his lunch.  I had never seen him without it on and his little bald head was shining.  He looked cleaner than I remember.  The room was dark and quiet and the only sounds were of his labored breathing and an occasional swish sound coming from the IV maching pumping some sort of life fluid into him.  He wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor.  He did have an oxygen tube on though, much like the one he used at home.  I noticed next that his arms (wrists) were restrained, probably more for his safety than that of others.

Robert would have said that his room was ok.  He's used to being alone and shut in, out of the way, ya know.

When my tears began, I prayed a now common prayer over him as I thought what to say.

I remember some times when I would leave Mr. McClures' place, I prayed to the Lord to not let it be too long before he gathered Robert into His arms and hugged him.  In fact, I prayed it the last time I left his trailer, October 18th.  I prayed it once more hoping in faith it was being answered as I spoke. 

I will miss him.

When God Says You're Doing OK

Lately, I've found myself asking for approval a lot in my prayers.  For people to say i'm doing ok in my Christian walk, it's not doing the job anymore.  I think most of us just want to know whether of not we are doing enough, whether or not we are good enough or will our moment in the judgement seat be the most agonizing thing we will ever experience?

I've come to a few conclusions though.  I don't think our Father meant for us to go through life wondering this all the time.  He gave us guidelines to follow and if we follow them, we should know (by faith or by fact) that we are doing ok.  Second, God has a way of letting us know if we are doing ok.  Admit it....the majority of times, when we do something, we automatically know if we are doing ok, don't we?  If we are doing ok, we feel it.
 
Sometimes, I just think, "If someone would just tell me I'm doing ok, things would be so much easier."  Then, it's as if the Lord says, "Be still and listen....I'll tell you."  It's an ongoing project.  I find myself refusing to settle for the way things are.  It's part of what keeps me busy and keeps me growing.  I love to hear Him tell me that I'm doing ok!